If There’s a Prize For Rotten Judgement…

I’ve spent much of my life singing my heart out. In choir… in church… in a rock band… belting out “Just A Girl” in front of the mirror as I pretended to be Gwen Stefani — oops, did I say that out loud?

These days, I don’t sing in a choir — and during church, I’m usually busy shushing Lainey (our 2 year-old) as she croons at the top of her lungs — whether the rest of the congregation is in song or not. My husband says she gets this from me. He’s pretty much decided that everything challenging about parenting our children is due to me and my creative free spirit.

[Side note: I am totally going to teach Lainey to sing, “Just A Girl” in front of the mirror… “Don’t you think I know exactly where I stand? This world is forcing me to hold your hand… ‘Cause I’m just a girl, little ‘ol me… Don’t let me out of your sight… I’m just a girl, all pretty and petite…
So don’t let me have any rights!”]

Anyways, I am proud to say that — possibly as a result of all the years I belted out show tunes, pop hits, country and church songs while cooking, baking, and/or doing any kind of household chore — both of our older boys (almost 13 and 8) sing in their school choir. Lainey just thinks she sings in a choir. The congregation at St. Joseph’s thanks her for this.

















I’m not kidding about our daughter and her singing — above is a pic of Lainey using her lungs to serenade me while jumping on her bed. Tristan, our 1 year-old baby, does not sing yet… maybe he’ll be a drummer like Daddy 😉

If you’ve read my blog before, you may already know that we finally (after my kids, our civil marriage, two pregnancies, two babies, four children in all, moving to another city, lots of late nights planning) had a church ceremony and reception with all of our kids in the wedding party.

Because I loooooove to sing soooo much, we — oh who am I kidding? My husband had no part in thinking this loco thing up. In fact, when I called my little sister — who was Maid of Honor — to tell her all about this great idea I had for a grand march, it was a little quiet on the other end of the line. And when I emailed the plan to the rest of the bridesmaids and groomsmen, one of them thought it was a joke.

I intended to sing, “I Won’t Say I’m In Love” from the Disney Movie Hercules as the bridesmaids pretended to be the Muses. The song starts out, “If there’s a prize for rotten judgement… I guess I’ve already won that! No man is worth the aggravation… that’s ancient history — been there, done that!” (Um, is that perfect for a wedding or what?)

As that song ended, my groom and his groomsmen were supposed to dance in to the tune of “Louie Louie”, then each pair up with a bridesmaid and do some kind of dance move while the DJ announced them. The last to be announced would be us, of course, and my honey would lift me high into the air and spin me — a dance move we had neither a high ratio of precision nor accuracy on, and one we had never practiced whilst all the layers and petticoats of my dress surrounded me. (Though my husband did not dream up this deranged scheme, he fully supported the preparation and execution of it. We want to thank our bridal party from the bottom of our hearts for also going along with the crazy!)

Did we pull it off?

“I Won’t Say I’m in Love” from Disney’s Hercules

If there’s a prize for rotten judgement
I guess I’ve already won that
No man is worth the aggravation
That’s ancient history, been there, done that!

[Muses:] Who’d’ ya think you’re kiddin’
He’s the Earth and heaven to you
Try to keep it hidden
Honey, we can see right through you
Girl, ya can’t conceal it
We know how ya feel and
Who you’re thinking of

No chance, no way
I won’t say it, no, no

You swoon, you sigh
why deny it, uh-oh

It’s too cliche
I won’t say I’m in love

I thought my heart had learned its lesson
It feels so good when you start out
My head is screaming get a grip, girl
Unless you’re dying to cry your heart out

You keep on denying
Who you are and how you’re feeling
Baby, we’re not buying
Hon, we saw ya hit the ceiling
Face it like a grown-up
When ya gonna own up
That ya got, got, got it bad

Whoa: No chance, no way
I won’t say it, no, no

Give up, give in
Check the grin you’re in love

This scene won’t play,
I won’t say I’m in love

You’re doin’ flips read our lips
You’re in love

You’re way off base
I won’t say it

She won’t say she’s in love

Get off my case
I won’t say it

Girl, don’t be proud
It’s O.K. you’re in love

At least out loud,
I won’t say I’m in love

2 comments on “If There’s a Prize For Rotten Judgement…
  1. So cute! You DEFINITELY pulled it off!

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