“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” — Rita Rudner
When I woke up Saturday morning, my husband –who reads only nonfiction, dislikes video games, and meditates regularly — was watching Duck Tales. Duck Tales? This may not seem strange to you, but this occurrence in OUR house is as usual as the meteorite that wiped the dinosaurs from the Earth.
Okay. If Chris wants to watch “Duck Tales”, he wants to watch Duck Tales. Maybe our three boys remind him of Huey, Dewey and Louie?
I was kind of annoyed at Chris, because he didn’t like my latest blog post. He kept telling me the reasons he didn’t like it — none of which made sense to me. Then I found out he didn’t even read the first half of the post. “What?! Do you mean to tell me you’ve been critiquing my writing since last night, and you didn’t even bother to read part of it? Whoa. You’re fired. And go back and read the other part!” Criticizing my writing when he didn’t even read all of it. The horror!
Next, Chris started telling me the marketing angle he thought I should take with one of my projects. This is where “Duck Tales” came in. My project reminded him of “Duck Tales”. But I was mistaken about him thinking our boys were like Hewey, Dewey and Louie. He had an idol in mind. “I love Scrooge McDuck. He’s such a penny pincher,” my husband grinned.
I should have known that would be his favorite character.
Chris read my blog post again… the entire post this time. He still didn’t like it. I commented that men think they’re always right. He responded that women think they’re always right. I told him he was wrong. Women don’t merely think they are right… we ARE right. He laughed.
When I’m being really serious, my husband will laugh. It annoys me. I usually pretend I didn’t hear him laughing, keep serious and carry on.
That’s what happened when we were driving to the ski resort to watch one of our kids’ snowboarding competitions. I was being really serious. I told Chris that I really hate driving on bridges over water, because what if my car drove off the bridge and I had to get out of it and swim to safety? Wouldn’t that be scary? That’s why I hate bridges! I’m so afraid of bridges!
Chris thanked me for giving him a glimpse into life with an anxiety disorder. I wasn’t done yet.
“Actually, I was so afraid of driving off a bridge when the two oldest boys were little, and only being able to rescue one of them that I put a pair of inflatable armbands in my car. That way, if my car went off a bridge and I had to swim to safety, I could swim holding one of them and I would put armbands on the other one. I made sure they were previously inflated, too, because you wouldn’t want to waste time inflating armbands when you’re trying to get your kids out of a sinking car that just drove off a bridge.”
Chris laughed and I pretended not to hear him. This was very serious. I’m pretty sure my kids would appreciate having a mom who planned for the future like that. Being proactive is one of the seven habits of highly effective people.
We arrived at the ski resort and I pulled into a parking space. I left the keys in the ignition and detached only the electronic key chain to put in my pocket.
“Don’t leave the keys in the ignition,” Chris said.
“I have the electronic thing, so it doesn’t matter.” I knew what I was doing.
“Somebody will see the keys in the ignition and break the window to steal the car,” Chris pointed out as he removed the keys from the ignition and placed them out of sight under the seat.
“The things you worry about!” I rolled my eyes.
“Says the person who kept inflatable armbands in her car for when she drove off a bridge?”
Silence… and… more silence. I’ll get back to him on that.