Dear Halloween Costume Company,
I thought Princess Leia would be a safe choice for me. As a mother of four, whose oldest is almost a teenager, I really don’t want to embarrass my kids, nor attract the attention of the college boys looking for hookups segment of the population. In ordering a floor length dress with long sleeves and a turtleneck, I hoped to wear a respectable costume for handing out candy and hosting my children’s Halloween party. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sending me said dress both skin tight and see through. In dressing as a Victoria’s Secret Angel, I may have exposed less (those wings cover a lot). In the future, you should probably put a label on your costumes that says, “Pimp Approved.” I hope people will still know I’m Princess Leia and not think I’m Kim Kardashian. Now please excuse me while I go find a way to modify my costume as to not be approached on a street corner.
PS. My husband’s Han Solo costume did not arrive skin tight or see through. I think your corporation is sexist. How am I supposed to enjoy Halloween if my husband isn’t walking around half naked?